CHIRON CATCHALL

[laid]

(The number one rule is never expect me to have a dumb meme on hand I'm sorry.)

Comments

[antaressnipe]

I'm sure your natural charm will offset whatever was written about you. It's only true if you allow it to be.

[Be the change you want to be, Raven!!]

And no, not at all.

Most centaurs are violent, lustridden, and will attack unprovoked if you pass through their line of sight. I would advise against approaching anyone who looks like me unless I've checked the manner of their temperament.

[He says with an impeccable smile]

[laid]

[WHAT NATURAL CHARM.... CHIRON, PLEASE....]

That's a pretty crazy thing ta hear when you yerself seem to be the polar opposite of that, and yer the only centaur I've ever met.

[antaressnipe]

[Raven has done nothing wrong yet!! Chiron's gonna give him the benefit of the doubt for now]

I'm considered an exception, which is why I wanted to warn everyone.

[Everyone has approached him and it's a sweet sentiment, but oh boy, don't do that to a normal Greek centaur, friends. You will die.]

I can only promise I'll be on my best behavior while here, so no one needs to worry about me.

[laid]

[The operative word in there is "yet."]

Well, given the size of ya, that's good news, I don't think most of us would stand a chance if ya did try to start somethin'. This old man's pretty useless without my artes or any arrows.

[antaressnipe]

Perhaps.

[Nooooo elaboration, though the corners of his mouth lift in amusement]

And come now, I'm sure there is plenty you can do even while handicapped. Arrows are not difficult to make, and given the amount of youth within our ranks, we'll be needing the adults to look after them in case of an emergency.

[laid]

Maybe I don't wanna be charge of a bunch of kids' well being. Maybe old Raven wants a break from babysitting.
[The sigh of a man who knows it will end up happening anyway. That said.]

I've never made my own arrows before, actually. If you're willin' to show me I might be interested. Situation permitting.

[antaressnipe]

But of course, I'd be more than happy to teach you.

We can discuss the details while deciding whom will be looking over whom.

[Wow it's like Archer didn't hear jack shit of what Raven said.

Maybe he shouldn't have started this conversation with vague concern over a centaur's wellbeing. Welcome to hell, sir.]

[laid]

[Hm. It's like this then, is it.]

Why don't ya leave me outta your planning for parcelling out th' kids? Most of 'em seem pretty self sufficient anyway.
[PLEASE SPARE HIM]

1/2

[antaressnipe]

It's true. Many of them are quite competent.

[Archer doesn't even deny this, or seem particularly embarrassed about being reminded of the fact. He let Achilles go at the age of nine or so, a full-fledged hero in all the ways the world would care about.]

Nevertheless, they lack experience that only age can bring, so even if only in small ways, I wish to guide them, and would appreciate the assistance.

[antaressnipe]

-- Of course, you don't actually have to help.

[With a goodnatured chuckle.]

But I know to be considered, ah... "fishy", a certain level of competency is required.

[laid]

Says who? Maybe people just think I'm fishy because they're rude and judgemental? I'm bein' unfairly maligned by that profile. You can't use it ta bully me into helping you.

[He can and will.]

[antaressnipe]

Yes...

[he places a hand on his chin, glancing down at Raven and leaning forward a little, tail twitching behind him]

It would be best to base your personality on your actions. In which case, you're rather kindhearted.

[laid]

Huh? Based on what?

[antaressnipe]

Mm?

[Looking vaguely surprised]

You really don't consider the act of caring about my comfort "kindhearted"?

[laid]

Who said anything about caring? I was just makin' some observations is all.

[And to further deflect;]
Now, if you were a cute lady centaur, then maybe I'd care.

[antaressnipe]

... That would not change the fact that I was a centaur, you realize.

[yeah he sees that deflecting but frankly, this is the third time someone has essentially said "you being half-horse ain't even a concern".

He is... very worried about this group]

[laid]

[Suddenly very serious;]

A pretty lady's a pretty lady no matter the species.
[DID HE STUTTER, SIR?]

[antaressnipe]

[ahshfkgldls holding his hands up in surrender!!]

Noted.

Well, this hypothetical me is quite flattered, I assure you.

[laid]

[Nods.]

In fact, this situation'd be a lot more appealing if it was a bunch of eligible young women. Old Raven'd have no problem workin' hard to protect them if it was like that.
[Terrible.]

[antaressnipe]

So that's what motivates you?

[Listen, his brother is Zeus. He can't even pretend to be surprised by what he's hearing]

I've no right to criticize what drives you, though I do hope you'll consider expending some energy for the rest who don't meet your criteria.

[yeah he's still on that]

[laid]

[If you're resorting to combaring people to Zeus the bar is already on the floor.]

Who knows, maybe this'll all be some huge misunderstandin' and nobody's gonna have ta look after anyone else.

[antaressnipe]

[Listen, Zeus literally fucked his way through multiple generations. Raven has many chances to redeem himself in comparison.]

I think we all would prefer that.

[Spoken in a tone that suggests he doubts it, though. For his own personal reasons, but they're not anything he decides to voice.]

Well, we shall likely see in a few days' time, assuming our captors are willing to talk with us.

[laid]

[Listen we can both silently agree that isn't likely. And just not say it.]

Ya think you're willin' to be more traditional if they show up with less benevolent intentions?
[Will you get tired of being nice and go ape shitt]

[antaressnipe]

I will do what I believe needs to be done -- no more or less than that.

[God I hope Chiron goes apeshit but until then, pragmatic to a fault, this one. Though from his tone alone...

It's clear he does not have an aversion to necessary bloodshed]

[laid]

Gotta do what's best for all those kids, right?

[He's got a vague idea of what you're all about, horse man.]

[antaressnipe]

[No answer. He just offers Raven a neutral glance]

And you? What will motivate you if we meet unfortunate odds?

[laid]

I dunno. I might just cave under the pressure and be no help ta anyone.

[Is this a real answer? Who can say.]