... It didn't go quite like that. [Putting a hand on the back of his neck. He meets Claude's gaze for a moment, but then has to look away in order to explain.]
Schwann's dead now, but he didn't die when I became Raven nine year ago. It was recently, just a week or so before I woke up here.
The reason I meant the Don was because Commandant Alexei sent Schwann there ta spy on him. When The Don created "Raven," Alexei decided it could be useful. So I'd go back and forth, sometimes Raven, sometimes Schwann.
[Is he better now? What a question. He doesn't want to answer it yet.]
(Claude listens and as he does, he smiles quietly.)
Even when you're pretending to be a different person, there's still someone you really are on the inside. Even if that person is someone no one else can see, or only a few people can see, there's still someone there.
(Something he says confidently, like he believes it absolutely.)
Do you know who you are? One or the other? Both? The Raven that was created by someone else or the Raven you made for yourself?
[Claude is asking such interesting, difficult questions tonight!!! Raven sits there for a long moment, thinking.]
... I think in some ways, I never stopped being Damuron, the man who died. Schwann and Raven were just masks for a dead man ta pretend he was alive with. [A sad smile, as he looks down at the weapon at his hip, the one that belonged to Canary, who knew Damuron. Somehow, having it here, that reminder, makes it easier to look forward.]
But maybe if I stick with this one, it can stop bein' just a mask. I think the Don wanted ta give me a chance ta live for myself. It's high time I actually start tryin'.
Oh, sure. There's the Don's grandson, Harry, he'll take over eventually but he's gonna need some help ta get there. I watched him grow up and all. ... Then there's the kids I was traveling with.
[He rummages in his pocket, and pulls out a photo, pointing to them in turn;]
There's Rita, Yuri, Karol, Estelle, and Judith. And the dog's Repede. Bein' with them helped a lot. It's thanks ta them I was able to find my resolve.
If you had no where else to go... no one else to be with, I would have shared my home with you, yes.
(He raises a hand to his chest, right over his heart,)
I couldn't have... I can't promise an easy life but I promise... (He closes his eyes and smiles lightly, fondly,) A brilliant world. One where you can make your own name and live as you want.
More than anything, I want you to live as you desire, Raven.
(He can answer that immediately and he reaches into his own pocket to pull out a photograph. It's worn where it was folded, like it was opened and folded up again and again but the picture is still clear.)
This is my class. The Golden Deer House. (He points to the people and says their names proudly,) Marianne, Rapahel, Hilda, Lorenz, Lysithea, Leonie, and Ignatz. And this here's Teach.
They're my friends. My first friends. You could say... they're real dear to me.
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... It didn't go quite like that. [Putting a hand on the back of his neck. He meets Claude's gaze for a moment, but then has to look away in order to explain.]
Schwann's dead now, but he didn't die when I became Raven nine year ago. It was recently, just a week or so before I woke up here.
The reason I meant the Don was because Commandant Alexei sent Schwann there ta spy on him. When The Don created "Raven," Alexei decided it could be useful. So I'd go back and forth, sometimes Raven, sometimes Schwann.
[Is he better now? What a question. He doesn't want to answer it yet.]
no subject
Even when you're pretending to be a different person, there's still someone you really are on the inside. Even if that person is someone no one else can see, or only a few people can see, there's still someone there.
(Something he says confidently, like he believes it absolutely.)
Do you know who you are? One or the other? Both? The Raven that was created by someone else or the Raven you made for yourself?
no subject
... I think in some ways, I never stopped being Damuron, the man who died. Schwann and Raven were just masks for a dead man ta pretend he was alive with.
[A sad smile, as he looks down at the weapon at his hip, the one that belonged to Canary, who knew Damuron. Somehow, having it here, that reminder, makes it easier to look forward.]
But maybe if I stick with this one, it can stop bein' just a mask. I think the Don wanted ta give me a chance ta live for myself. It's high time I actually start tryin'.
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He doesn't mind waiting for an answer though. After weeks, what's a little more time, especially now that he has the company to go with it?
He closes his eyes, smiling to himself like Raven's said something terribly amusing. There's a quiet secret here. An inside joke of sorts.)
I understand what you mean. (Maybe not exactly in the same way but he can relate.) It's time to make a name for yourself.
(Opening his eyes,)
Do you know what you want to be called?
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Just Raven. Being Damuron now would be too weird. Everyone who knew him is dead now.
[Yikes.]
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(That's that.)
... Do you have anyone back home?
(The Don is dead. And everyone Damuron knew is dead too? Who else is there.)
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[He rummages in his pocket, and pulls out a photo, pointing to them in turn;]
There's Rita, Yuri, Karol, Estelle, and Judith. And the dog's Repede. Bein' with them helped a lot. It's thanks ta them I was able to find my resolve.
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Good. (He's so relievd,) ... Guess I can't ask you to come back to Fodlan with me now, huh?
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... Were ya going to?
[HE FEELS BAD, NOW.]
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(He raises a hand to his chest, right over his heart,)
I couldn't have... I can't promise an easy life but I promise... (He closes his eyes and smiles lightly, fondly,) A brilliant world. One where you can make your own name and live as you want.
More than anything, I want you to live as you desire, Raven.
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... Well, what about you? You've got people ta go home to, right?
[SO THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO GO!!]
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(He can answer that immediately and he reaches into his own pocket to pull out a photograph. It's worn where it was folded, like it was opened and folded up again and again but the picture is still clear.)
This is my class. The Golden Deer House. (He points to the people and says their names proudly,) Marianne, Rapahel, Hilda, Lorenz, Lysithea, Leonie, and Ignatz. And this here's Teach.
They're my friends. My first friends. You could say... they're real dear to me.
(Deer. Dear. Get it. Haha.)